“Wa Wa Wee Wa?! Eto off to Uzbekistan?”

A Sports Baron Exclusive by Ibracadabra

From Barcelona – 5 kilometers of coastline and a Mediterranean climate to the landlocked country of Uzbekistan that shares a short border with Afghanistan? Really, Samuel?

In the most sensational news story of world soccer’s off-season, Barcelona’s best striker over the past four years, the Cameroonian Samuel Eto’o is actually considering an offer from Uzbekistani team Kuruvchi.

The 27-year old in the prime of his career may have been derailed by injuries for parts of last season, but still managed 20 goals in 24 appearances for the Spanish soccer giants. Now it looks like he may be headed for Borat’s neighborhood.

If Eto’o does land in Uzbekistan, he would leave behind world-class teammates Lionel Messi and Thierry Henry and instead link up with the likes of vowel-starved Bakhtiyor Ashurmatov and Gochguli Gochguliev.

This is trading in a Maserati for a Toyota Corolla. Actually, it’s trading in a Maserati for a Huffy.

This is Tom Brady deciding to leave the Patriots, not for the Canadian Football League, not for Arena Football League. Tom Brady just left his Superbowl rings behind to quarterback the Sideline Suspects (Toledo, OH) up in the US Flag & Touch Football League.

Absolutely “aqlga sig’maydi.” That’s “unbelievable” in Uzbek. Eto’o better learn quickly.

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1 Comment

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One response to ““Wa Wa Wee Wa?! Eto off to Uzbekistan?”

  1. Lincoln

    Translation = Career Suicide

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